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Unicorn Rampage: Your Fake News of the Day!

Darrell Johnson, Guest Writer, "Writing for Media" student.

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Brianna Edwards
Darrell Johnson, and his Jeep, seek to travel far in the communications and marketing world.

EDITOR’S NOTE: 

This is an example of “Fake News” by Darrell Johnson, a student in UTPB’s “Writing for Media” course. Mr. Johnson expresses an amazing sense of humor in class, and may weigh in on the Unicorn Frappuccino next. “Writing for Media” will be offered again in Fall 2017 for students interested in news writing venues such as television, radio, newspapers, magazines, bilingual radio stations and more. The course includes guest speakers and touring news venues. The following news story is written in all capital letters to adhere to the teleprompter format for television broadcast news.

 

HELLO AND WELCOME TO NEW YORK 9. I’M YOUR FAVORITE ANCHORMAN, DARRELL JOHNSON.

THIS MORNING A GIGANTIC UNICORN (ESTIMATED TO BE 300-FEET TALL) BEGAN A VIOLENT ATTACK ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE OF NEW YORK.

U.S GENERAL CHRIS P. BACON HAS GIVEN THE UNICORN THE CODE NAME “WILMER” AND IS CALLING THIS “A POSSIBLE MASS EXTINCTION EVENT.”

IT APPEARS THAT WILMER IS SHOOTING A RAINBOW LIKE SUBSTANCE OUT OF ITS HORN. THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, THE WORLD TRADE CENTERS MEMORIAL,  AND TIMES SQUARE HAVE ALL BEEN COVERED IN A LAYER OF COLORFUL OOZE.

WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE HORRIFIC EVENT, MAYOR PATON DIDDY SAID: “ WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO EVACUATE THE CITY, AS WELL AS WORKING WITH THE ARMY TO BRING THIS PONY DOWN.”

IF EVACUATION OF THE CITY IS NOT AN OPTION, CITIZENS ARE ADVISED TO STAY INDOORS, NOT PANIC AND STAY UP TO DATE ON THE EVENTS THAT OCCUR DURING THIS ORDEAL.

FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE NEWS, MAKE SURE YOU TUNE IN EVERY DAY TO NEW YORK 9 AT 5:15 p.m. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS DARRELL JOHNSON SIGNING OFF AND REMINDING YOU:  IF IT’S COLORFUL, DO NOT LICK IT.

 

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Unicorn Rampage: Your Fake News of the Day!